Originally written July 2003
Tossing Batting Practice… until Byung Hyun Kim officially joins the Sox.
So the Sox added a shaky Korean pitcher to the mix, to counter the Yankees shaky Cuban pitcher, well I guess imitation is the best form of flattery.
Only Bill Buckner has a worse track record in New York than Kim.
Kim may speak little English, but rest assured Red Sox Nation, “You Suck” translates well in any language.
I’m taking June 15th in the pool of when Bill Mueller goes down with an injury that lingers the remainder of the season, and contributes to a freefall in production.
See what happens when a white guy gets “Giggy” with it, he embarrasses himself.
Giguere might have been riding one unbelievable hot streak, but Martin Brodeur is still the best active (see below) playoff goaltender, and one of the two best I have ever seen.
The only one better than Brodeur, is the man himself. I would like to take a timeout to acknowledge Patrick Roy. Back in the late 80s and early 90s when it was fun to care about the Bruins Patrick Roy was the nemesis. He was Derek Jeter and Roger Clemens rolled into one. It was so hard to root for him when Ray Bourque was looking for his Stanley Cup, but I had to put my differences aside for the greater good. I miss hockey the way it He single handedly carried those Montreal teams deep into the playoffs and willed them to victory, especially in 1993. (Can you name anybody else on that ’93 Stanley Cup champion team, He won 10 overtime games that playoff year). I miss hockey the way it was played before it looked like soccer on ice, in fact I miss rivalries like that in any sport. The Sox-Yankees is that intense, but there is nothing else that can rival the hatred those two teams had for one another. The Garden and the Forum are gone, so is Ray Bourque, and now Patrick Roy. It’s the end of an era, and damn do I feel old.
Riddle of the day: What do they call hockey in the rest if the world? (answer below)
Roll out the red, white and blue balls, its an all ABA NBA Finals. I better see some old school George Gervin finger rolls, and at least one guy in a giant Dr. J-esque afro.
The fact I feel like this is a good deal for the Sox makes me very nervous. There isn’t any outrage at trading an All-star for a shaky pitcher. Nothing, I bet in the long run we get hosed in this deal.
The Mavs have been eliminated for less than 12 hours and I miss them already. Their inability to hold a large lead, or be fazed by a large deficit, as well as the hot potato style of offense made everyone of their games entertaining to watch.
Don Nelson’s inability to win in the playoffs would qualify him to be the next Red Sox manager.
Steve Kerr is living proof that no matter how old, and slow white guys get, they never forget how to shoot.
I read the NY and Philadelphia papers everyday now, and I am convinced the Mets and Phillies have been playing each other for a month.
Answer: Soccer
Elton Brand, Jason Collins, and Richard Jefferson were just named to the U.S. Olympic qualifying team. These three are never going to play except garbage minutes, if they do it’s a crime. Wouldn’t it be better if they added three guys on an NBA roster who never play? Or the walk-ons at Duke who have perfected the “I know I’m never gonna play, but I’m gonna jump up and down like a lunatic whenever we score a basket” routine.
Finally, a fond farewell to Mr. April, Red Sox nation will miss you next year when we jump out to an early lead atop the AL East, only to plummet in the standings like your batting average and power numbers as the season wears on.
Tuesday, May 27, 2003
Tossing Batting Practice while removing a patch at the bottom commemorating my eighth column…Screw you AP Style…it was given to me by the Associated Press.
Congratulations to Roger Clemens on joining the exclusive 299/154 club. This select club that includes such legends as Kid Nichols, John Clarkson and Tim Keefe, (as well as Nolan Ryan, Cy Young, and Steve Carlton).
Larry Brown’s family should immediately take him to a doctor, because I think senility may be setting in. He walked away from $12 million, on a winning team that has a chance to win every year because the East sucks. Instead he will likely end up with the Clippers???? Yes those Clippers, the ones that have made two playoff appearances in club history. They have zero commitment to winning, and it doesn’t matter anyway because the West is loaded. Great career move Larry.
On that note is there a more overrated coach than Brown? He has only made the NBA Finals once. He won one NCAA championship thanks the three weeks in 1988 when Danny Manning was unstoppable.
This from Brown at his press conference yesterday. "I hope [the legacy] is that our team played hard and played unselfishly.” Did he see the same Allen Iverson taking 47 shots a game and not showing up to practice that I did?
Will Allen Iverson still be talking about practice with his new coach?
This year’s Cleveland Indians display all the features of the Major League Indians<. Attendance is way down. They got a bunch of no name players. Omar Vizquel looks more and more like Roger Dorn every day. Their manager was running a batting cage during the offseason. The PR department should run a “Major League day” promotion where fans have to identify which names are on the current roster and which names were just characters in the movie. Those that answer correctly get to go home, and are no longer subjected to such horrible baseball.
Will more “fans” in Jersey show up to see the Devils in the Stanley Cup, or the Nets in the NBA Finals?
Why is it there are always at least three coaches sitting by the bullpen phone in a Major League dugout? Is it locked, and like a nuclear weapon you need at least two keys to turn it? Every time you see a camera shot to the dugout the manager is flanked on either side by at least two coaches. I blame Joe Torre and Don Zimmer for this.
If the Stanley Cup Finals were sudden death the entire game, it would be so much cooler.
If you told me that you won the Indianapolis 500 this weekend, I would not be able to prove you wrong.
Having since gone to look up who actually did win the race, one thought crossed my mind. Do the people in Brazil actually realize that Indianapolis is not even close to a real American city..And that driving around in a circle 170 odd times is the most exciting thing that happens there each year?
The basketball gods fired a giant lightning bolt at the Mavericks this weekend with Dirk Nowitzki going down with a knee injury. Somewhere Rick Adelman and the rest of the Sacramento Kings are smiling.
Hello???? Hockey fan are you out there?
George Steinbrenner, part owner of the New Jersey Nets, recently compared Jason Kidd to Bob Cousy. When did the Boss become John Wooden? His ability to judge baseball talent is poor at best, but now he seems to think he can judge talent in all sports. I look forward to him comparing Scott Stevens to Ray Bourque or Bobby Orr after the Stanley Cup.
Finally, China had the Women’s World Cup (in that “sport” soccer) taken away from it due to SARS fears. I am now on my way to rent an RV to travel with the team this summer on their quest to repeat, and my quest to steal Mia Hamm from Nomar.
Congratulations to Roger Clemens on joining the exclusive 299/154 club. This select club that includes such legends as Kid Nichols, John Clarkson and Tim Keefe, (as well as Nolan Ryan, Cy Young, and Steve Carlton).
Larry Brown’s family should immediately take him to a doctor, because I think senility may be setting in. He walked away from $12 million, on a winning team that has a chance to win every year because the East sucks. Instead he will likely end up with the Clippers???? Yes those Clippers, the ones that have made two playoff appearances in club history. They have zero commitment to winning, and it doesn’t matter anyway because the West is loaded. Great career move Larry.
On that note is there a more overrated coach than Brown? He has only made the NBA Finals once. He won one NCAA championship thanks the three weeks in 1988 when Danny Manning was unstoppable.
This from Brown at his press conference yesterday. "I hope [the legacy] is that our team played hard and played unselfishly.” Did he see the same Allen Iverson taking 47 shots a game and not showing up to practice that I did?
Will Allen Iverson still be talking about practice with his new coach?
This year’s Cleveland Indians display all the features of the Major League Indians<. Attendance is way down. They got a bunch of no name players. Omar Vizquel looks more and more like Roger Dorn every day. Their manager was running a batting cage during the offseason. The PR department should run a “Major League day” promotion where fans have to identify which names are on the current roster and which names were just characters in the movie. Those that answer correctly get to go home, and are no longer subjected to such horrible baseball.
Will more “fans” in Jersey show up to see the Devils in the Stanley Cup, or the Nets in the NBA Finals?
Why is it there are always at least three coaches sitting by the bullpen phone in a Major League dugout? Is it locked, and like a nuclear weapon you need at least two keys to turn it? Every time you see a camera shot to the dugout the manager is flanked on either side by at least two coaches. I blame Joe Torre and Don Zimmer for this.
If the Stanley Cup Finals were sudden death the entire game, it would be so much cooler.
If you told me that you won the Indianapolis 500 this weekend, I would not be able to prove you wrong.
Having since gone to look up who actually did win the race, one thought crossed my mind. Do the people in Brazil actually realize that Indianapolis is not even close to a real American city..And that driving around in a circle 170 odd times is the most exciting thing that happens there each year?
The basketball gods fired a giant lightning bolt at the Mavericks this weekend with Dirk Nowitzki going down with a knee injury. Somewhere Rick Adelman and the rest of the Sacramento Kings are smiling.
Hello???? Hockey fan are you out there?
George Steinbrenner, part owner of the New Jersey Nets, recently compared Jason Kidd to Bob Cousy. When did the Boss become John Wooden? His ability to judge baseball talent is poor at best, but now he seems to think he can judge talent in all sports. I look forward to him comparing Scott Stevens to Ray Bourque or Bobby Orr after the Stanley Cup.
Finally, China had the Women’s World Cup (in that “sport” soccer) taken away from it due to SARS fears. I am now on my way to rent an RV to travel with the team this summer on their quest to repeat, and my quest to steal Mia Hamm from Nomar.
Friday, May 23, 2003
Not Tossing Batting Practice Today....I just want to post this from the other day before I forget again
Ok, everyone has that ex-girlfriend that they care about in a positive light and maybe even still love no matter how bad they screwed you. You try to forget about them, ignore them when you see them with someone else, and talk about how dumb you were to have been with her as long as you were. You convince yourself that your replacement has made you so much happier and given you better memories. You quietly hope for a reconciliation, despite all your friends urging to stay away. But in the long run you know that had you stayed together neither party would be happy.
That is how we in Red Sox Nation feel about Roger Clemens. He packed it in his last four years here, (similar to a woman putting on a few extra pounds) although he did play for some bad teams so his numbers were hurt a little by those futile teams led by Butch Hobson.
So during Roger’s free agent year of ’96 a bitter break up ensues. After the break up Roger went out and wins two Cy Young’s with a really bad Toronto team. Ok so she moved on found someone else, it’s not that bad, maybe she’s dating an accountant. She’s got money, but he’s a geek and she isn’t having any fun.
After Clemens’ first Cy Young, a one year grieving period, the Sox went out and got Pedro Martinez. A passionate love affair develops with a younger gorgeous model who loves you too. The Sox go to the playoffs and Pedro wins a Cy Young. Screw that bitch!
Then all of a sudden she dumps the accountant, and starts dating a football player, maybe even a quarterback. He’s bigger than you, stronger than you, makes more money than you and will stop at nothing to flaunt him in front of you. She’s rich, successful and happy without you. Roger meanwhile had asked for a trade and was sent to the Yankees. It was like he had just promoted Communism, or Islamic Fundamentalism, Red Sox nation was irate.
You are still with the model, but now she is getting a little emotional, whiny, and more demanding.
Pedro takes the Sox to the ALCS in ’99 he wins the another Cy Young, and should have won the MVP. The season is highlighted by his Superman performance against Cleveland in Game five of the ALDS. He comes out of the bullpen to throw six no-hit innings against the best offensive team in baseball, all with a sore shoulder.
Next up was a chance meeting with the ex-woman, and more importantly a chance to show that you are so much better off with out her.
In his first trip back to Fenway in Yankee pinstripes Clemens gets shelled giving up 13 hits and eight runs in 4 2/3 innings. Pedro went seven innings and struck out 12. She fell flat on their face right in front of you and all your friends. It’s the ultimate vindication.
Ultimately the Yankees won that series, and eventually the World Series with Roger pitching the clincher in Yankee Stadium. Possibly the darkest day in Red Sox Nation since October 26, 1986.
The football player just signed a new contract worth millions and you have never felt worse in your life.
Pedro has been remarkable since he got here and has had more dynamic performances than Roger has had in that same time, but he hasn’t brought home the elusive championship. Meanwhile Roger has two championship rings.
Now Clemens is on the cusp of another milestone, 300 career wins. He goes for 299 tomorrow here at Fenway Park against the Sox.
The ex is now getting married to the football player, and you have been invited to the wedding. You don’t want to go but you know you have to, because no matter how it did turn out, you still care, whether you want to admit it or not.
Tomorrow night many fans will boo Roger, but just as many will cheer. I myself am torn. He was once a hero of mine, someone I aspired to be. Then he became the symbol for everything I detest. I don’t know completely which one I’ll do until the time comes. But I’m almost positive I will have to cheer for him because I do still care, as does every other true Red Sox fan.
Ok, everyone has that ex-girlfriend that they care about in a positive light and maybe even still love no matter how bad they screwed you. You try to forget about them, ignore them when you see them with someone else, and talk about how dumb you were to have been with her as long as you were. You convince yourself that your replacement has made you so much happier and given you better memories. You quietly hope for a reconciliation, despite all your friends urging to stay away. But in the long run you know that had you stayed together neither party would be happy.
That is how we in Red Sox Nation feel about Roger Clemens. He packed it in his last four years here, (similar to a woman putting on a few extra pounds) although he did play for some bad teams so his numbers were hurt a little by those futile teams led by Butch Hobson.
So during Roger’s free agent year of ’96 a bitter break up ensues. After the break up Roger went out and wins two Cy Young’s with a really bad Toronto team. Ok so she moved on found someone else, it’s not that bad, maybe she’s dating an accountant. She’s got money, but he’s a geek and she isn’t having any fun.
After Clemens’ first Cy Young, a one year grieving period, the Sox went out and got Pedro Martinez. A passionate love affair develops with a younger gorgeous model who loves you too. The Sox go to the playoffs and Pedro wins a Cy Young. Screw that bitch!
Then all of a sudden she dumps the accountant, and starts dating a football player, maybe even a quarterback. He’s bigger than you, stronger than you, makes more money than you and will stop at nothing to flaunt him in front of you. She’s rich, successful and happy without you. Roger meanwhile had asked for a trade and was sent to the Yankees. It was like he had just promoted Communism, or Islamic Fundamentalism, Red Sox nation was irate.
You are still with the model, but now she is getting a little emotional, whiny, and more demanding.
Pedro takes the Sox to the ALCS in ’99 he wins the another Cy Young, and should have won the MVP. The season is highlighted by his Superman performance against Cleveland in Game five of the ALDS. He comes out of the bullpen to throw six no-hit innings against the best offensive team in baseball, all with a sore shoulder.
Next up was a chance meeting with the ex-woman, and more importantly a chance to show that you are so much better off with out her.
In his first trip back to Fenway in Yankee pinstripes Clemens gets shelled giving up 13 hits and eight runs in 4 2/3 innings. Pedro went seven innings and struck out 12. She fell flat on their face right in front of you and all your friends. It’s the ultimate vindication.
Ultimately the Yankees won that series, and eventually the World Series with Roger pitching the clincher in Yankee Stadium. Possibly the darkest day in Red Sox Nation since October 26, 1986.
The football player just signed a new contract worth millions and you have never felt worse in your life.
Pedro has been remarkable since he got here and has had more dynamic performances than Roger has had in that same time, but he hasn’t brought home the elusive championship. Meanwhile Roger has two championship rings.
Now Clemens is on the cusp of another milestone, 300 career wins. He goes for 299 tomorrow here at Fenway Park against the Sox.
The ex is now getting married to the football player, and you have been invited to the wedding. You don’t want to go but you know you have to, because no matter how it did turn out, you still care, whether you want to admit it or not.
Tomorrow night many fans will boo Roger, but just as many will cheer. I myself am torn. He was once a hero of mine, someone I aspired to be. Then he became the symbol for everything I detest. I don’t know completely which one I’ll do until the time comes. But I’m almost positive I will have to cheer for him because I do still care, as does every other true Red Sox fan.
Thursday, May 22, 2003
Tossing Bating practice while wondering why I wasn’t named American Idol...
“Thank you come again”…the Sox are out of first place again. They are kind of like the weird kids that show up at a party. You aren’t sure how they got there, or who they know. Everyone snickers behind their backs as they try to act cool, and talk to girls, knowing full well they have no shot. Nobody bothers to kick them out because they always come early and don’t stay very long. Overall they usually just provide a brief entertaining footnote to the party, which is usually forgotten about after excessive consumption of alcohol.
I will resist from making any outrageous comments regarding the barrage of technical fouls referee Joey Crawford gave the Mavs last night, for fear of getting one myself. It’s playoff time and I can’t let my ego get in the way of doing my job.
Don Nelson’s unborn grandson Dawny III just got a technical foul. I guess Mark Cuban knew what he was doing when he decided to hire seven assistant coaches
I have apparently been ejected from the remainder of this column. I decided to get a T to fire my material up, let’s face it they were lethargic today. Joey Crawford got overly confrontational and he gave single T’s to the grammar and humor for the rest of this piece and he ejected me. As a result my material had to play cautious to avoid suspension and my assistants just weren’t ready to take over.
Here is an excerpt from our conversation.
Me<“Joey come on you gotta give me something here you got all my best material in foul trouble and sittin on the bench”
JC: “Technical foul”
JC: “Coach sit down and write your column or you’re outta here”
Me: “No I want an explanation, are you determined to even the series, and bring me back down to earth, or were you told to do so.”
JC: “That’s it, another tech you’re gone.”
And with that so went this column down the drain
Ok, I’ll say it, how many strokes will Annika Sorenstam give?
If there was any justice in this world Dr. Emmett L. Brown would have kidnapped the David Robinson of 1995, taken him to 2003 so he could see how he is embarrassing himself now. Then take the DeLorean back to 1999 and convinced him to retire then.
Can anyone explain to me the neutral zone trap?
While on that subject are there any other actual plays in hockey? I mean seriously, how can you design a play when you can barely follow the puck.
The Patriots signed Dedric Ward today. Just what we need is another under six-foot wideout. Now all we need is another slow undersized running back and a 48 year-old cornerback and we’ll be back in Championship contention.
LeBron James just signed a $100 million shoe contract with Nike. In a related note minimum wage was just lowered in Vietnam to three cents and a bowl of rice an hour.
With that obscene contract I will now openly root for any combination of the Clippers, Grizzlies, or Nuggets to win the lottery. At least then he will earn that $100 million.
For the love of God please, just end the Nets-Pistons series, I promise ESPN, I will watch whatever you put on in its place.
After watching three games of Bernie Williams in center field, I have determined that maybe he is left-handed and doesn’t know it. I won’t even say he throws like a girl because it is a disservice to every girl I know. He just makes no effort to throw anybody out when they run on him.
Reason number 479 why ABC is run by handicapped gorillas: Monday Night Football is looking for a replacement for Melissa Stark. Joumana Kidd (yes that Joumana, seriously is there anyone else with moderate celebrity status of that name) is rumored to be a candidate. I applaud (heavy sarcasm) ABC’s decision if they go through with it. It seems the network is determined to see if they can ruin football as a TV sport, as they have done to hockey and basketball.
I will keep my cool and promise not to hurt the team again. It’s my fault I let my ego get in the way. But they were out to screw us and make sure that the columns were even with the occasional “mail it in” job thrown in there so some people will read hoping I fail. I guess you need to have enemies as well as fans. But I got home court tomorrow…
“Thank you come again”…the Sox are out of first place again. They are kind of like the weird kids that show up at a party. You aren’t sure how they got there, or who they know. Everyone snickers behind their backs as they try to act cool, and talk to girls, knowing full well they have no shot. Nobody bothers to kick them out because they always come early and don’t stay very long. Overall they usually just provide a brief entertaining footnote to the party, which is usually forgotten about after excessive consumption of alcohol.
I will resist from making any outrageous comments regarding the barrage of technical fouls referee Joey Crawford gave the Mavs last night, for fear of getting one myself. It’s playoff time and I can’t let my ego get in the way of doing my job.
Don Nelson’s unborn grandson Dawny III just got a technical foul. I guess Mark Cuban knew what he was doing when he decided to hire seven assistant coaches
I have apparently been ejected from the remainder of this column. I decided to get a T to fire my material up, let’s face it they were lethargic today. Joey Crawford got overly confrontational and he gave single T’s to the grammar and humor for the rest of this piece and he ejected me. As a result my material had to play cautious to avoid suspension and my assistants just weren’t ready to take over.
Here is an excerpt from our conversation.
Me<“Joey come on you gotta give me something here you got all my best material in foul trouble and sittin on the bench”
JC: “Technical foul”
JC: “Coach sit down and write your column or you’re outta here”
Me: “No I want an explanation, are you determined to even the series, and bring me back down to earth, or were you told to do so.”
JC: “That’s it, another tech you’re gone.”
And with that so went this column down the drain
Ok, I’ll say it, how many strokes will Annika Sorenstam give?
If there was any justice in this world Dr. Emmett L. Brown would have kidnapped the David Robinson of 1995, taken him to 2003 so he could see how he is embarrassing himself now. Then take the DeLorean back to 1999 and convinced him to retire then.
Can anyone explain to me the neutral zone trap?
While on that subject are there any other actual plays in hockey? I mean seriously, how can you design a play when you can barely follow the puck.
The Patriots signed Dedric Ward today. Just what we need is another under six-foot wideout. Now all we need is another slow undersized running back and a 48 year-old cornerback and we’ll be back in Championship contention.
LeBron James just signed a $100 million shoe contract with Nike. In a related note minimum wage was just lowered in Vietnam to three cents and a bowl of rice an hour.
With that obscene contract I will now openly root for any combination of the Clippers, Grizzlies, or Nuggets to win the lottery. At least then he will earn that $100 million.
For the love of God please, just end the Nets-Pistons series, I promise ESPN, I will watch whatever you put on in its place.
After watching three games of Bernie Williams in center field, I have determined that maybe he is left-handed and doesn’t know it. I won’t even say he throws like a girl because it is a disservice to every girl I know. He just makes no effort to throw anybody out when they run on him.
Reason number 479 why ABC is run by handicapped gorillas: Monday Night Football is looking for a replacement for Melissa Stark. Joumana Kidd (yes that Joumana, seriously is there anyone else with moderate celebrity status of that name) is rumored to be a candidate. I applaud (heavy sarcasm) ABC’s decision if they go through with it. It seems the network is determined to see if they can ruin football as a TV sport, as they have done to hockey and basketball.
I will keep my cool and promise not to hurt the team again. It’s my fault I let my ego get in the way. But they were out to screw us and make sure that the columns were even with the occasional “mail it in” job thrown in there so some people will read hoping I fail. I guess you need to have enemies as well as fans. But I got home court tomorrow…
Wednesday, May 21, 2003
Tossing Batting Practice, like a beleaguered American League East bullpen…
The Bruce Chen era (or error the jury is still out on that one) begins.
I am convinced the Dominican Republic produces baseball players as frail as American automobiles.
No matter what those idiots in NY say, Red Sox management is in no way smart or clever enough to convince the Yankees to sign Jose Contreras. I point to Ramiro Mendoza as evidence of this.
Game one of the Western Conference final took nearly three hours to play. The Spurs and Mavericks combined for 98 free throws, 72 fouls and Buck Showalter made 11 pitching changes.
After seeing the Mavs make 49 consecutive free throws the other I know this, I would take them to win a game of knockout against any other NBA team.
When Jorge Posada makes a trip to the mound to Jose Contreras or Mariano Rivera, do you think a Spanish version of the Bull Durham scene plays out with Posada eventually giving I and uttering the phrase
“Tire la carne del calor”
(and yes, that is Spanish for “give him the heat meat”, this is what I do all day)
If he keeps it up Ramiro Mendoza will get to have the “Mendoza Line” added to a pitcher’s description as well. Maybe a “Mendoza line drive” used to describe a rocket hit off the bat. Every ball hit off Ramiro is a blast, there are no quiet outs with this man.
When did Bruce Bowen get deemed worthy enough to be fouled away from the ball in the 2nd quarter repeatedly? Correct me if I’m wrong but, isn’t this the same Bruce Bowen who played for the Celtics? Assuming he is, wasn’t he loosely termed a “defensive specialist?” The strategy was so successful however, that Bowen may be getting fouled by the Mavs during warm ups tonight to put the Spurs in the bonus early.
If Jose Contreras isn’t careful he’s going to end up being sent back to Cuba on the same floating raft El Duque came in on.
How come it’s always Yankees who have bad things, such as Lou Gehrig’s Disease, and Tommy John Surgery, named after them? Why isn’t special attention paid to Jimmy Piersall (once had a nervous breakdown and climbed the backstop) or Tony Conigliaro (getting beaned in the face, and thus never reaching full potential)? Once again the Yankees get everything.
So Jim O’Brien is coming back to the Celtics for a few more years, excuse me while I rush out to buy my season tickets.
It’s too bad the United States army didn’t allow Antoine Walker to launch one ceremonial bomb towards Baghdad.
Ok if I have to read one more WNBA preview column I am going to quit journalism. The Seattle Times dedicated two major stories to the Seattle Storm, if I were a subscriber I would demand they hire Jayson Blair immediately. Maybe even stick him on the WNBA beat just to spice things up with a little fiction, then maybe I would be interested in the league…wait no probably not.
I think if you have a WNBA franchise, your city should be removed from consideration for best sports city in America, and you lose points for having an MLS or WUSA franchise as well. Although this probably leaves Grand Forks, North Dakota as the best sports city, hey they obviously know something by keeping that crap out of their community.
Roger Clemens vs Tim Wakefield, has there ever been a pitching match up of more contrasting styles in recent memory?
If Roger Clemens is the “Rocket” what’s Tim Wakefield, the “Special Olympic Hurdler?”
The Bruce Chen era (or error the jury is still out on that one) begins.
I am convinced the Dominican Republic produces baseball players as frail as American automobiles.
No matter what those idiots in NY say, Red Sox management is in no way smart or clever enough to convince the Yankees to sign Jose Contreras. I point to Ramiro Mendoza as evidence of this.
Game one of the Western Conference final took nearly three hours to play. The Spurs and Mavericks combined for 98 free throws, 72 fouls and Buck Showalter made 11 pitching changes.
After seeing the Mavs make 49 consecutive free throws the other I know this, I would take them to win a game of knockout against any other NBA team.
When Jorge Posada makes a trip to the mound to Jose Contreras or Mariano Rivera, do you think a Spanish version of the Bull Durham scene plays out with Posada eventually giving I and uttering the phrase
“Tire la carne del calor”
(and yes, that is Spanish for “give him the heat meat”, this is what I do all day)
If he keeps it up Ramiro Mendoza will get to have the “Mendoza Line” added to a pitcher’s description as well. Maybe a “Mendoza line drive” used to describe a rocket hit off the bat. Every ball hit off Ramiro is a blast, there are no quiet outs with this man.
When did Bruce Bowen get deemed worthy enough to be fouled away from the ball in the 2nd quarter repeatedly? Correct me if I’m wrong but, isn’t this the same Bruce Bowen who played for the Celtics? Assuming he is, wasn’t he loosely termed a “defensive specialist?” The strategy was so successful however, that Bowen may be getting fouled by the Mavs during warm ups tonight to put the Spurs in the bonus early.
If Jose Contreras isn’t careful he’s going to end up being sent back to Cuba on the same floating raft El Duque came in on.
How come it’s always Yankees who have bad things, such as Lou Gehrig’s Disease, and Tommy John Surgery, named after them? Why isn’t special attention paid to Jimmy Piersall (once had a nervous breakdown and climbed the backstop) or Tony Conigliaro (getting beaned in the face, and thus never reaching full potential)? Once again the Yankees get everything.
So Jim O’Brien is coming back to the Celtics for a few more years, excuse me while I rush out to buy my season tickets.
It’s too bad the United States army didn’t allow Antoine Walker to launch one ceremonial bomb towards Baghdad.
Ok if I have to read one more WNBA preview column I am going to quit journalism. The Seattle Times dedicated two major stories to the Seattle Storm, if I were a subscriber I would demand they hire Jayson Blair immediately. Maybe even stick him on the WNBA beat just to spice things up with a little fiction, then maybe I would be interested in the league…wait no probably not.
I think if you have a WNBA franchise, your city should be removed from consideration for best sports city in America, and you lose points for having an MLS or WUSA franchise as well. Although this probably leaves Grand Forks, North Dakota as the best sports city, hey they obviously know something by keeping that crap out of their community.
Roger Clemens vs Tim Wakefield, has there ever been a pitching match up of more contrasting styles in recent memory?
If Roger Clemens is the “Rocket” what’s Tim Wakefield, the “Special Olympic Hurdler?”
Monday, May 19, 2003
Tossing batting practice while trying to gather money from 4 million of my closest friends to purchase one of the original Rocky statues now for sale in Philadelphia.
Hey the Sox are in first place!!!!!! I guess it’s officially spring now in New England. Like Kansas collapsing in the NCAA tournament, a Kenyan winning the Marathon and the Bruins laying down and dying in the playoffs, the Sox climbing into first place in May gives us Bostonians the full assurance that good weather is here. The subsequent collapse out of playoff contention isn’t noticed until it summer is nearly over.
Given the last few years of the sox in first only to suck for the month of June, I can’t even bring myself to gloat at the demise of the Yankees in recent weeks.
A horse is a horse of course of course, and no one can talk to a horse of course: But if someone could talk to Funny Cide (maybe his official biographer) would he ask about the incident with the clippers.
Ok I promise I wont make any Trot Nixon jokes during the course of this column.
Dallas and San Antonio are actually further apart from each other than Boston and New York.
Which is worse driving down I-35 seeing nothing but cattle from Dallas to San Antonio, or being forced to drive through Connecticut which I am convinced is much larger than it appears on a map?
Yesterday the Nets and Piston combined for 150 points yesterday. Last weekend the Mavericks scored 140, granted it was double overtime, but the Mavs did also score 83 points in one half in that series.
Pop Quiz: can you name five guys and the head coach of the Detroit Pistons.
The Ducks have just pulled the goalie and Minnesota still can’t score
Ok if you know me well enough you know I had to say something about this. Arizona and UCLA advanced to the NCAA softball World Series yesterday. In a related note, the sun came out yesterday.
I think I was one of about seven people who watched the softball game ESPN2 televised yesterday. Jennie Finch, the hottest female athlete on earth, was the color commentator, this is blasphemous to write but, how the hell did she graduate with a communications degree? If ESPN is going to keep her on they better utilize a little box in the corner with her pictured, otherwise even I wont be able to watch softball in TV.
Tigers pitcher Mike Maroth, still winless, lost his ninth game of the season yesterday. The Detriot News headline used the phrase “Hard Luck.” At what point do you go from hard luck to just plain awful?
How the hell do the Mariners have the best record in the American League? Freddy Garcia has been awful this year, Ichiro had the worst April of his life. Now he is on fire this month. Edgar Martinez, despite having both feet in his grave, has hit .333 this year. Gil Meche (???????) has picked up the slack for Garcia, and taken over the role of staff ace. This could be a tough team to beat down the stretch, but they are still the Mariners.
Did Aaron and Brett Boone receive a family discount for steroids over the winter? Aaron has 13 home runs and Brett has 10 so far this season.
Insert Mike Piazza pulled groin/sexuality joke here______________________________
Hey the Sox are in first place!!!!!! I guess it’s officially spring now in New England. Like Kansas collapsing in the NCAA tournament, a Kenyan winning the Marathon and the Bruins laying down and dying in the playoffs, the Sox climbing into first place in May gives us Bostonians the full assurance that good weather is here. The subsequent collapse out of playoff contention isn’t noticed until it summer is nearly over.
Given the last few years of the sox in first only to suck for the month of June, I can’t even bring myself to gloat at the demise of the Yankees in recent weeks.
A horse is a horse of course of course, and no one can talk to a horse of course: But if someone could talk to Funny Cide (maybe his official biographer) would he ask about the incident with the clippers.
Ok I promise I wont make any Trot Nixon jokes during the course of this column.
Dallas and San Antonio are actually further apart from each other than Boston and New York.
Which is worse driving down I-35 seeing nothing but cattle from Dallas to San Antonio, or being forced to drive through Connecticut which I am convinced is much larger than it appears on a map?
Yesterday the Nets and Piston combined for 150 points yesterday. Last weekend the Mavericks scored 140, granted it was double overtime, but the Mavs did also score 83 points in one half in that series.
Pop Quiz: can you name five guys and the head coach of the Detroit Pistons.
The Ducks have just pulled the goalie and Minnesota still can’t score
Ok if you know me well enough you know I had to say something about this. Arizona and UCLA advanced to the NCAA softball World Series yesterday. In a related note, the sun came out yesterday.
I think I was one of about seven people who watched the softball game ESPN2 televised yesterday. Jennie Finch, the hottest female athlete on earth, was the color commentator, this is blasphemous to write but, how the hell did she graduate with a communications degree? If ESPN is going to keep her on they better utilize a little box in the corner with her pictured, otherwise even I wont be able to watch softball in TV.
Tigers pitcher Mike Maroth, still winless, lost his ninth game of the season yesterday. The Detriot News headline used the phrase “Hard Luck.” At what point do you go from hard luck to just plain awful?
How the hell do the Mariners have the best record in the American League? Freddy Garcia has been awful this year, Ichiro had the worst April of his life. Now he is on fire this month. Edgar Martinez, despite having both feet in his grave, has hit .333 this year. Gil Meche (???????) has picked up the slack for Garcia, and taken over the role of staff ace. This could be a tough team to beat down the stretch, but they are still the Mariners.
Did Aaron and Brett Boone receive a family discount for steroids over the winter? Aaron has 13 home runs and Brett has 10 so far this season.
Insert Mike Piazza pulled groin/sexuality joke here______________________________
Friday, May 16, 2003
Column 4 5/15
Tossing batting practice while wondering why don’t I see more inner city youths playing pick up hockey like they did in the second Mighty Ducks movie?
If the Mighty Ducks win the Stanley Cup, they better thank Gordon Bombay, and the rest of those pioneering Ducks. Because without them, none of their success would be possible.
Ok, I’ll say it, I have officially gotten ''Giggy'' with it. I am convinced that Giguerre is Francais for Goldberg. The Ducks should sign Anson Carter and teach him how to shoot the “knuckle puck”.
If the New Jersey beats Ottawa, I demand Pat Burns speak in an Icelandic accent during the Stanley Cup Finals.
I liked happy go lucky, giant Afro, Ben Wallace a lot more than hardened, menacing corn row Ben Wallace.
Clang! Allen Iverson just missed another shot. 5-25 that’s an ugly night. .200 from the field, that’s still a better average than most of the Phillies.
Cheer up Allen, things could be worse. You could be Robert Horry, who went 2-38 from 3-point land during the playoffs. It might be harder to miss 36 shots than it is to make 36 shots.
Is there a basketball equivalent to the Mendoza line? If not can we name it the Walker line and establish it at 28%?
I think I am going to root for the Pistons tonight because God help me if I have to watch another 78-77 pitcher’s duel.
Ok Allen Iverson, Robert Horry and a random white guy who “played a little college ball” (meaning intramurals) in a 3-point contest. Who would you take.
I know concessions are expensive at Fenway Park, but can’t Casey Fossum get an employee discount? Casey, seriously, eat something!
The St. Louis Cardinals bullpen has blown 10 of 16 save opportunities this year. That just sucks.
Everyday you learn something new I guess. Secretariat apparently has an official biographer.
Congratulations to the World Champion San Antonio Spurs.
Somebody threw a baseball at Carl Everett last night. I’m not sure what I think about this. Wait what’s that feeling I’m getting, is that…sympathy? No, no that’s just allergies, never mind.
Vlade Divac plays the post like your dad, or any big fat old white guy at the Y always did when you were younger. He pulls these shots out of nowhere at awkward angles, and looks like a slightly more athletic version of George Mikan.
I stand corrected the Lakers did lose.
How bout Derek Fisher and Kobe Bryant breaking down into tears in the waning moments of Game six last night. I really want to mock this, but I am glad to actually see guys care about winning and losing, it’s good for the game.
Did Kobe Bryant suddenly turn 40 and nobody told me? His postgame remarks last night had the feel of a guy who was on the downside of his career. At one point he discussed how it seems like just yesterday he was 21. The man is 24 for Christ sake and will probably be around for a long time.
Random betting line of the day: over/under of 3.
That is the number of Kobe Bryant retirements/comebacks I predcit before he finally decides enough is enough.
I’m not sure which of these scenarios I’d like to see play out. Kobe Bryant failing miserably a la Isiah Thomas as a head coach, or failing miserably at running a perennially bad team like the Hawks, like Jordan did. Either way I guarantee one, if not both, of these scenarios will play out.
Can someone please import a personality into Tim Duncan? Remember when Bart sold his soul to Milhouse in the Simpsons and could feel no emotion? I am convinced Duncan did the same thing.
It’s been seven months but the phrase “World Champion Anaheim Angels” still makes me want to throw up all over myself.
Big Exhale, Petey made it through another start without getting hurt. To me that’s cause for celebration.
Shhh, do you hear that? It’s the sound of America changing the channel now that the Lakers are out.
I will miss Jack Nicholson the rest of the playoffs, maybe he is a Ducks fan too.
Married men everywhere should be rooting for Funny Cide tomorrow in the Preakness Stakes. His success will give hope to all those who have had their balls taken away by someone else. Maybe his biographer can make him a spokesman for all those out there who are whipped.
Tossing batting practice while wondering why don’t I see more inner city youths playing pick up hockey like they did in the second Mighty Ducks movie?
If the Mighty Ducks win the Stanley Cup, they better thank Gordon Bombay, and the rest of those pioneering Ducks. Because without them, none of their success would be possible.
Ok, I’ll say it, I have officially gotten ''Giggy'' with it. I am convinced that Giguerre is Francais for Goldberg. The Ducks should sign Anson Carter and teach him how to shoot the “knuckle puck”.
If the New Jersey beats Ottawa, I demand Pat Burns speak in an Icelandic accent during the Stanley Cup Finals.
I liked happy go lucky, giant Afro, Ben Wallace a lot more than hardened, menacing corn row Ben Wallace.
Clang! Allen Iverson just missed another shot. 5-25 that’s an ugly night. .200 from the field, that’s still a better average than most of the Phillies.
Cheer up Allen, things could be worse. You could be Robert Horry, who went 2-38 from 3-point land during the playoffs. It might be harder to miss 36 shots than it is to make 36 shots.
Is there a basketball equivalent to the Mendoza line? If not can we name it the Walker line and establish it at 28%?
I think I am going to root for the Pistons tonight because God help me if I have to watch another 78-77 pitcher’s duel.
Ok Allen Iverson, Robert Horry and a random white guy who “played a little college ball” (meaning intramurals) in a 3-point contest. Who would you take.
I know concessions are expensive at Fenway Park, but can’t Casey Fossum get an employee discount? Casey, seriously, eat something!
The St. Louis Cardinals bullpen has blown 10 of 16 save opportunities this year. That just sucks.
Everyday you learn something new I guess. Secretariat apparently has an official biographer.
Congratulations to the World Champion San Antonio Spurs.
Somebody threw a baseball at Carl Everett last night. I’m not sure what I think about this. Wait what’s that feeling I’m getting, is that…sympathy? No, no that’s just allergies, never mind.
Vlade Divac plays the post like your dad, or any big fat old white guy at the Y always did when you were younger. He pulls these shots out of nowhere at awkward angles, and looks like a slightly more athletic version of George Mikan.
I stand corrected the Lakers did lose.
How bout Derek Fisher and Kobe Bryant breaking down into tears in the waning moments of Game six last night. I really want to mock this, but I am glad to actually see guys care about winning and losing, it’s good for the game.
Did Kobe Bryant suddenly turn 40 and nobody told me? His postgame remarks last night had the feel of a guy who was on the downside of his career. At one point he discussed how it seems like just yesterday he was 21. The man is 24 for Christ sake and will probably be around for a long time.
Random betting line of the day: over/under of 3.
That is the number of Kobe Bryant retirements/comebacks I predcit before he finally decides enough is enough.
I’m not sure which of these scenarios I’d like to see play out. Kobe Bryant failing miserably a la Isiah Thomas as a head coach, or failing miserably at running a perennially bad team like the Hawks, like Jordan did. Either way I guarantee one, if not both, of these scenarios will play out.
Can someone please import a personality into Tim Duncan? Remember when Bart sold his soul to Milhouse in the Simpsons and could feel no emotion? I am convinced Duncan did the same thing.
It’s been seven months but the phrase “World Champion Anaheim Angels” still makes me want to throw up all over myself.
Big Exhale, Petey made it through another start without getting hurt. To me that’s cause for celebration.
Shhh, do you hear that? It’s the sound of America changing the channel now that the Lakers are out.
I will miss Jack Nicholson the rest of the playoffs, maybe he is a Ducks fan too.
Married men everywhere should be rooting for Funny Cide tomorrow in the Preakness Stakes. His success will give hope to all those who have had their balls taken away by someone else. Maybe his biographer can make him a spokesman for all those out there who are whipped.
Thursday, May 15, 2003
Wednesday, May 14
Tossing Batting practice while wondering if that Zen stuff will make me as successful with the ladies as it has made Phil Jackson. I guess if you win nine NBA titles it is acceptable to date the boss’ daughter.
Phil Jackson may have had the angioplasty the other day but for three quarters last night it looked like the Lakers were the ones with no heart.
Shock of the year: Fuzzy Zoeller agrees with Vijay Singh.
Carl Everett, I miss you and your crazy (ok, insane) antics.
Too much has been made on both sides about Vijay Singh’s comment regarding Sorenstam playing the Colonial. She is using a sponsor’s exemption so she isn’t taking a spot from someone who qualified. This is a relatively minor tournament that people will actually care about for once, any publicity for the game is good for golf. Interest has waned recently with Tiger woods winning practically every time he tees it up. I applaud Sorenstam for challenging herself.
It’s a shame there will be no camera shots of Martin Brodeur’s wife during the playoffs this year.
San Antonio with a professional sports franchise, is this more or less mind boggling than Columbus or Orlando?
The NBA JV plays tonight in Detroit. Winning the eastern Conference will be like winning a JV championship, nobody cares, or even notices but the people who win it.
God bless the foresight Fox had to hire Jennie Finch to work a segment on this Week in Baseball. Her presence will advance the sport of softball and put it on a national stage. Putting a woman on a baseball show is a giant step towards gender equality in the sports world.
Ok I really don’t care about the last part of that statement, I’m just glad she’s going to be on TV at a set time every week, damn she’s hot.
Holy crap, is Brian Shaw old. That might be the Lakers biggest problem, he is playing way to many minutes for a team to be successful.
Mo Vaughn, where “Art” thou?
Take that Derek Jeter, You finally make your triumphant return but the Yankees lose. The Anaheim Angels having the Yankees number, I think this is akin to the Nets having the Celtics number.
Seriously how can any manager allow a player to go 0-8 to start a season. What does Mike Maroth have to do to get sent down to AAA. I feel bad for the guy. I think if the Tigers offered me a contract, I would turn them down.
Apparently Robert Horry’s deal with the Satan expired some time during the course of the season. He is 0-15 in 3-point field goal attempts in the series against San Antonio.
Why can’t the NHL playoffs be interesting enough for me to write about?
Duke basketball coach Mike Krzyzewski, and Florida St. football coach Bobby Bowden have both come out in favor of ACC expansion. The only down side I see to this is that with five super conferences the other schools are essentially playing for nothing. If some schools believe that, they will face pressure to drop certain sports, in favor of spending money elsewhere. Thus limiting the opportunities some athletes will have.
I blame television, and their insistence of playing back-to-back games over the weekend, for ruining the level of play in the Dallas/Sacramento series.
Tossing Batting practice while wondering if that Zen stuff will make me as successful with the ladies as it has made Phil Jackson. I guess if you win nine NBA titles it is acceptable to date the boss’ daughter.
Phil Jackson may have had the angioplasty the other day but for three quarters last night it looked like the Lakers were the ones with no heart.
Shock of the year: Fuzzy Zoeller agrees with Vijay Singh.
Carl Everett, I miss you and your crazy (ok, insane) antics.
Too much has been made on both sides about Vijay Singh’s comment regarding Sorenstam playing the Colonial. She is using a sponsor’s exemption so she isn’t taking a spot from someone who qualified. This is a relatively minor tournament that people will actually care about for once, any publicity for the game is good for golf. Interest has waned recently with Tiger woods winning practically every time he tees it up. I applaud Sorenstam for challenging herself.
It’s a shame there will be no camera shots of Martin Brodeur’s wife during the playoffs this year.
San Antonio with a professional sports franchise, is this more or less mind boggling than Columbus or Orlando?
The NBA JV plays tonight in Detroit. Winning the eastern Conference will be like winning a JV championship, nobody cares, or even notices but the people who win it.
God bless the foresight Fox had to hire Jennie Finch to work a segment on this Week in Baseball. Her presence will advance the sport of softball and put it on a national stage. Putting a woman on a baseball show is a giant step towards gender equality in the sports world.
Ok I really don’t care about the last part of that statement, I’m just glad she’s going to be on TV at a set time every week, damn she’s hot.
Holy crap, is Brian Shaw old. That might be the Lakers biggest problem, he is playing way to many minutes for a team to be successful.
Mo Vaughn, where “Art” thou?
Take that Derek Jeter, You finally make your triumphant return but the Yankees lose. The Anaheim Angels having the Yankees number, I think this is akin to the Nets having the Celtics number.
Seriously how can any manager allow a player to go 0-8 to start a season. What does Mike Maroth have to do to get sent down to AAA. I feel bad for the guy. I think if the Tigers offered me a contract, I would turn them down.
Apparently Robert Horry’s deal with the Satan expired some time during the course of the season. He is 0-15 in 3-point field goal attempts in the series against San Antonio.
Why can’t the NHL playoffs be interesting enough for me to write about?
Duke basketball coach Mike Krzyzewski, and Florida St. football coach Bobby Bowden have both come out in favor of ACC expansion. The only down side I see to this is that with five super conferences the other schools are essentially playing for nothing. If some schools believe that, they will face pressure to drop certain sports, in favor of spending money elsewhere. Thus limiting the opportunities some athletes will have.
I blame television, and their insistence of playing back-to-back games over the weekend, for ruining the level of play in the Dallas/Sacramento series.
Column 2 5/13
Tossing batting practice while looking on the bright side, at least the Celtics scored in Overtime last night.
If Danny Ainge does one thing during his first year on the job, he should sit down with the team and explain to them what it means to be a Celtic. Last night in the second overtime Paul Pierce missed a shot, and while the Nets raced out on a fast break, he was in the backcourt barking at the officials. The Nets had numbers, and Pierce was walking back on defense. The man is a great player, but his defensive deficiencies are noticeable. During the regular season and even at times during the playoffs it’s acceptable, because of the scoring load he has to carry, and the amount of minutes he plays each season. But with two minutes to go in overtime, while facing elimination, you must forget about the officials and get back and play defense. Antoine Walker may be a great leader on this team, but his incessant barking at the officials (which he did cut down on during the playoffs) is contagious and spreads to the rest of the team
Only 86 days until the Patriots first preseason game against the Giants.
I am relieved that the integrity of the Kentucky Derby was upheld yesterday. If horses are cheating then what does that say about the rest of our society. Let me get this straight though, it is cruel to shock a horse with electrical stimulation, however, it is perfectly acceptable to beat the horse with a whip through the duration of the race?
The Celtics playoff phrase this year of “Green 17” can now stand for the number of years since the last time they won a championship.
The Red Sox are third in the Majors in stolen bases, and near the top in sacrifice hits. Did hell freeze over?
Roman Cechmanek, the recently deposed goalie of the Flyers, wouldn’t he look good in Black and Gold?
Congratulations to Theo Epstein. Now that the Celtics have been eliminated you and your team will receive the focus (or more accurately the wrath) of Boston sports fans for the next few months.
Exhibit A of why not to trade Antoine Walker was on display during the second overtime. The offense was stagnant with five guys just standing around. If Eric Williams is your second scoring option at any point during a game you should not be a Conference finalist. Walker had a terrible series but that is in no way an indication of him as a player. His maturation during the Indiana series indicates that he is a player who can do many things for the team. This is not to say that if you can get a good deal I wouldn’t trade him but, it is unlikely that the Celtics can get equal value for him that would improve the team.
The NBA Finals resume tonight in San Antonio with game five.
The Sox open a three game series with the Rangers tonight in Fenway. Both teams rank in the top five in batting average and the Rangers lead the majors in homers. This series could have a slow-pitch softball feel to it.
If the Red Sox have a bullpen by committee, what is the first base equivalent? With that being said isn’t the bullpen always a committee?
Tossing batting practice while looking on the bright side, at least the Celtics scored in Overtime last night.
If Danny Ainge does one thing during his first year on the job, he should sit down with the team and explain to them what it means to be a Celtic. Last night in the second overtime Paul Pierce missed a shot, and while the Nets raced out on a fast break, he was in the backcourt barking at the officials. The Nets had numbers, and Pierce was walking back on defense. The man is a great player, but his defensive deficiencies are noticeable. During the regular season and even at times during the playoffs it’s acceptable, because of the scoring load he has to carry, and the amount of minutes he plays each season. But with two minutes to go in overtime, while facing elimination, you must forget about the officials and get back and play defense. Antoine Walker may be a great leader on this team, but his incessant barking at the officials (which he did cut down on during the playoffs) is contagious and spreads to the rest of the team
Only 86 days until the Patriots first preseason game against the Giants.
I am relieved that the integrity of the Kentucky Derby was upheld yesterday. If horses are cheating then what does that say about the rest of our society. Let me get this straight though, it is cruel to shock a horse with electrical stimulation, however, it is perfectly acceptable to beat the horse with a whip through the duration of the race?
The Celtics playoff phrase this year of “Green 17” can now stand for the number of years since the last time they won a championship.
The Red Sox are third in the Majors in stolen bases, and near the top in sacrifice hits. Did hell freeze over?
Roman Cechmanek, the recently deposed goalie of the Flyers, wouldn’t he look good in Black and Gold?
Congratulations to Theo Epstein. Now that the Celtics have been eliminated you and your team will receive the focus (or more accurately the wrath) of Boston sports fans for the next few months.
Exhibit A of why not to trade Antoine Walker was on display during the second overtime. The offense was stagnant with five guys just standing around. If Eric Williams is your second scoring option at any point during a game you should not be a Conference finalist. Walker had a terrible series but that is in no way an indication of him as a player. His maturation during the Indiana series indicates that he is a player who can do many things for the team. This is not to say that if you can get a good deal I wouldn’t trade him but, it is unlikely that the Celtics can get equal value for him that would improve the team.
The NBA Finals resume tonight in San Antonio with game five.
The Sox open a three game series with the Rangers tonight in Fenway. Both teams rank in the top five in batting average and the Rangers lead the majors in homers. This series could have a slow-pitch softball feel to it.
If the Red Sox have a bullpen by committee, what is the first base equivalent? With that being said isn’t the bullpen always a committee?
Monday, May 12
Tossing a little batting practice while wondering, if this column sucks can I blame the officials for the large free throw disparity? It worked for the Lakers this weekend.
Saturday night had an 80s feel to it, the social gathering I attended had an 80s theme, but the Kings and Mavericks combined for 278 points. Holy Bernard King! At one point I counted seven consecutive possessions where the shot clock didn’t go below 17. I thought Hank Gathers had been resurrected to play. Both teams combined for 218 field goal attempts an average of one every 15 seconds. Dallas also set an NBA record with 42 3-point attempts. They say the NFL is a copycat league, let’s hope the NBA sees the success of these teams and copies their exciting style of play. The Pat Riley style of slow it down and foul as often as you can owes fans this new era.
If Antoine Walker were the same height as Billy Hoyle, of White Men Can’t Jump fame, who would a dunk contest?
Pop quiz can you name five non-European hockey players still alive in the NHL playoffs?
The Jacobs family may be right , you don’t need to spend lots of dollars to win a Stanley Cup. But you do need to have a front office that actually knows what they are doing, and can judge talent.
Remember when there was a push to make Manny Ramirez a full time DH? Did anybody else see that ball Jeremy Giambi dropped in left field last night? In 155 games as the Red Sox left fielder Manny has made five errors, all of them in 2002. In that time has also accumulated nine outfield assists. In 152 games last year Trot Nixon made five errors as well, and threw out seven runners.
Isn’t it ironic that Danny Ainge is against the Celtics current system of heaving three’s at any given opportunity. Without the three-point line and the subsequent green light he had, Ainge would have stayed in baseball.
Tony Parker, you have exactly two games left to prove to San Antonio management that Jason Kidd is not the answer.
Seriously, does anyone think the Lakers will lose?
Nothing may be more exciting than a 0-0 overtime playoff hockey game, but if the Neutral Zone trap is involved I would rather it be settled by shootout.
Jimy Williams was considered a redneck Grady Little is a Southerner through and through, will the Sox next Manager be Cletus the Slack-Jawed yokel?
Where does Mel Kiper Jr. go the other 51 weekends of the year?
If BC moves to the ACC fans will have to show up at kickoff for football games. Their beloved Eagles will likely be 14 points down, and already out of the game if they show up at their customary time.
Give us your tired, poor and huddled masses: There are eight international born players in the Mavericks/Kings series all of whom are contributing mightily to their teams.
Would anybody be opposed to adding a 10-point shot during the NBA Finals for the Eastern Conference, just to bridge the gap slightly.
The Red Sox bullpen is 22-12 this season. In the grand scheme of things that really isn’t that bad.
“If you build it they will come” Cincinnati built the “Great American Ballpark” but the people still wont come. Less than 25,000 fans attended yesterday’s Reds game in a ballpark that can hold more than 42,000.
Given Danny Ainge’s baseball background, can the Red Sox hire him if this whole Celtics thing doesn’t work out?
And finally even though Mother’s day is a day to shower the matriarch of your family with praise, I can’t let this fester any longer. Mom, damn you for throwing away my Danny Ainge replica jersey as a child, I told you I would wear it again sometime.
Sports quote of the weekend “Mark McGwire isn’t a Hall of Famer all he could do was hit Home Runs.”
Tossing a little batting practice while wondering, if this column sucks can I blame the officials for the large free throw disparity? It worked for the Lakers this weekend.
Saturday night had an 80s feel to it, the social gathering I attended had an 80s theme, but the Kings and Mavericks combined for 278 points. Holy Bernard King! At one point I counted seven consecutive possessions where the shot clock didn’t go below 17. I thought Hank Gathers had been resurrected to play. Both teams combined for 218 field goal attempts an average of one every 15 seconds. Dallas also set an NBA record with 42 3-point attempts. They say the NFL is a copycat league, let’s hope the NBA sees the success of these teams and copies their exciting style of play. The Pat Riley style of slow it down and foul as often as you can owes fans this new era.
If Antoine Walker were the same height as Billy Hoyle, of White Men Can’t Jump fame, who would a dunk contest?
Pop quiz can you name five non-European hockey players still alive in the NHL playoffs?
The Jacobs family may be right , you don’t need to spend lots of dollars to win a Stanley Cup. But you do need to have a front office that actually knows what they are doing, and can judge talent.
Remember when there was a push to make Manny Ramirez a full time DH? Did anybody else see that ball Jeremy Giambi dropped in left field last night? In 155 games as the Red Sox left fielder Manny has made five errors, all of them in 2002. In that time has also accumulated nine outfield assists. In 152 games last year Trot Nixon made five errors as well, and threw out seven runners.
Isn’t it ironic that Danny Ainge is against the Celtics current system of heaving three’s at any given opportunity. Without the three-point line and the subsequent green light he had, Ainge would have stayed in baseball.
Tony Parker, you have exactly two games left to prove to San Antonio management that Jason Kidd is not the answer.
Seriously, does anyone think the Lakers will lose?
Nothing may be more exciting than a 0-0 overtime playoff hockey game, but if the Neutral Zone trap is involved I would rather it be settled by shootout.
Jimy Williams was considered a redneck Grady Little is a Southerner through and through, will the Sox next Manager be Cletus the Slack-Jawed yokel?
Where does Mel Kiper Jr. go the other 51 weekends of the year?
If BC moves to the ACC fans will have to show up at kickoff for football games. Their beloved Eagles will likely be 14 points down, and already out of the game if they show up at their customary time.
Give us your tired, poor and huddled masses: There are eight international born players in the Mavericks/Kings series all of whom are contributing mightily to their teams.
Would anybody be opposed to adding a 10-point shot during the NBA Finals for the Eastern Conference, just to bridge the gap slightly.
The Red Sox bullpen is 22-12 this season. In the grand scheme of things that really isn’t that bad.
“If you build it they will come” Cincinnati built the “Great American Ballpark” but the people still wont come. Less than 25,000 fans attended yesterday’s Reds game in a ballpark that can hold more than 42,000.
Given Danny Ainge’s baseball background, can the Red Sox hire him if this whole Celtics thing doesn’t work out?
And finally even though Mother’s day is a day to shower the matriarch of your family with praise, I can’t let this fester any longer. Mom, damn you for throwing away my Danny Ainge replica jersey as a child, I told you I would wear it again sometime.
Sports quote of the weekend “Mark McGwire isn’t a Hall of Famer all he could do was hit Home Runs.”
